Were you one day filled with hope and then somewhere along the track your hope ran out? Did you ever look at the mountaintop in front you and then one day couldn't muster the courage to take one single step? Were you ever one day prepared to run a marathon and then day couldn't get yourself out of bed to go and train?
What happened? What happened to that motivation? I think that one day you let your struggle become your identity. You see what happens is we can look at the mountain from two perspectives. We can look at the mountain from the perspective of "I just can't wait to get to the top, the view is going to look amazing" or we can change our perspective and look at the mountain saying "Everything within me is going to be drained by climbing that mountain, it's easier just to stay at the bottom, the view doesn't really matter" we become so focused on the energy it will take to climb that mountain that we forget the view exists!
Why would we want to stay at the bottom when we could experience so much better at the top? We've let our struggle become our identity.
"It's too hard to change" so I won't change. "It's hard to climb" so I won't climb. "It's too hard to move" so I won't move. Have we not all done that at one point? I think I have. I think you have.
When did we get so engrossed in our struggle that it became our identity. I can think of a time when I have. It was the beginning of 2012 when my world slowly crumbled around me. My struggle became my everything. I fell hard and I fell fast when someone gave a label to my struggle. I became a victim of depression. A struggle like that does not have to make you a 'victim', no not at all, but when I Iet it become my full identity? That's when there was a problem. My world became full of darkness in a way that not even I could comprehend. I used to be so happy and bubbly and now everything had changed. The depths of my struggle were incredibly dark and incredibly hard and I ended up at rock bottom what seemed like many many times.
The hardest part though was not my struggle. The hardest part was it being my identity. You see an identity is everything we are, a struggle is a temporary challenge that we endure before the light in our world goes brighter.
The light in your world will grow brighter when you take away your identity from the struggle and let yourself grow despite what you're enduring. Your struggle will never have to be your everything and I pray that you would let yourself grow and endure and eventually reach the mountaintop.
You are worth it xox