"The weight of your worth is the weight of your heart; the palm of God, your only scale. "- Jennifer Strickland. more beautiful than you know.
Life tends to revolve a lot around the kindness of another, the tension in the heart of another, the way we feel about ourselves and the way we act upon the gifts we've been given.
As humans, each life is a gift- each heart in a shopping centre tells a different story, one unique to themselves and no one else.
We all experience beauty and moments of intense pain.
I spent a whole of years in the pain that I felt, using it to create a war that I fought against myself.
Each time I felt pain I would try to run. And the main way that I would try to run was through a false sense of self-control monitoring the way that my body looked and the size that it became.
I reduced my worth to the size of my waist and my value to the number on the scale and the number of rib bones I could clearly see and count.
For the pain in my soul I was convinced I'd found a remedy and by the time I began to understand it wasn't working to fix the pain in my heart, I pretended it was.
I became convinced that there was truth in my life, that waging war against myself would fix the pain in my soul. But it was no suitable remedy.
I was never the one to try to fix my pain in a rational way. I abused my body in many ways thinking that it would curb the pain of the abuse I'd been on the receiving end of.
I've been on a journey with myself for many years now, and with others. Taking the time to grow through my experiences, to leave behind the false comfort of fake remedies that seemed to promise to fix my pain, and instead have been walking through the reality of my pain which then led to freedom. None of us are ever completely free from the memories of the pain, from the scars it left on our soul, but we are free from the obligation to cause pain for ourselves. We don't have to scar ourselves in any number of ways. We're not here to self destruct but to create, to realise our own beauty, value, worth and purpose to then step into a life of building others to live the most incredible life that they can.
Pain is inevitable but the way we deal with it is completely a choice and frequently I have to remind myself of the right choice to make- to step further into healing and into that which causes my soul to hurt, to come out the other side and live a life where I can experience the light, from the inside out. Where beauty doesn't flow from the comments of others but the very depths of me, knowing that who i am is not external, but built inside and radiated externally.
Life tends to revolve a lot around the kindness of another, the tension in the heart of another, the way we feel about ourselves and the way we act upon the gifts we've been given.
As humans, each life is a gift- each heart in a shopping centre tells a different story, one unique to themselves and no one else.
We all experience beauty and moments of intense pain.
I spent a whole of years in the pain that I felt, using it to create a war that I fought against myself.
Each time I felt pain I would try to run. And the main way that I would try to run was through a false sense of self-control monitoring the way that my body looked and the size that it became.
I reduced my worth to the size of my waist and my value to the number on the scale and the number of rib bones I could clearly see and count.
For the pain in my soul I was convinced I'd found a remedy and by the time I began to understand it wasn't working to fix the pain in my heart, I pretended it was.
I became convinced that there was truth in my life, that waging war against myself would fix the pain in my soul. But it was no suitable remedy.
I was never the one to try to fix my pain in a rational way. I abused my body in many ways thinking that it would curb the pain of the abuse I'd been on the receiving end of.
I've been on a journey with myself for many years now, and with others. Taking the time to grow through my experiences, to leave behind the false comfort of fake remedies that seemed to promise to fix my pain, and instead have been walking through the reality of my pain which then led to freedom. None of us are ever completely free from the memories of the pain, from the scars it left on our soul, but we are free from the obligation to cause pain for ourselves. We don't have to scar ourselves in any number of ways. We're not here to self destruct but to create, to realise our own beauty, value, worth and purpose to then step into a life of building others to live the most incredible life that they can.
Pain is inevitable but the way we deal with it is completely a choice and frequently I have to remind myself of the right choice to make- to step further into healing and into that which causes my soul to hurt, to come out the other side and live a life where I can experience the light, from the inside out. Where beauty doesn't flow from the comments of others but the very depths of me, knowing that who i am is not external, but built inside and radiated externally.